The Oxford Dictionary has proclaimed “toxic” word of the year for 2018.
You don’t have to wait for the end of the year to rid yourself of things and people that are making your life unpleasant. But the start of a new year is the perfect time to get your mind in the right place by removing toxic people from your life.
Toxic people can be found in many circles of our lives. The problem is that we are emotionally attached to the bad relationships. Even when our mind tells us to let go, it’s still hard to break away from the toxic people we’ve become attached to.
Once and for all, why not endeavor to make 2019 the year you cut the strings binding you to a toxic person? Below, Tina Tessina, psychotherapist and co-author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free, and other therapists share six negative people to leave behind in the New Year.
1. The Ghoster
Ghosters don’t just exist in the dating world; a friend who used to be dependable and communicative but now never responds counts as a ghoster, too.
If your requests to hang out continue to fall on deaf ears, it might be time to stop counting on your chronically flaky friend.
“Relationships with these people often feel one-directional;they disappear easily, shut down and escape without saying a word,” said Talia Wagner, a marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. “Most of the toxic people in our lives, including ghosters, are good at taking ― our time,resources, energy, empathy and compassion ― but not so good at giving it back.”
2. The Adult Dependent
Everyone loves Kim. But Kim’s life is a mess. You help her out of financial jams, answer her drunken calls at 3 a.m. and help her work through romantic entanglements she constantly finds herself in.
At this point, your relationship is starting to feel more like an episode of “Dr. Phil” ― or worse yet, “Intervention” ― than a genuine friendship.
“The thing is, the toxic adult dependent person will never stop needing,” said Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist and co-author of The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels.“There’s always another drama around the next corner.”