You know it’s probably f*cked up but you still want confirmation. If any of these ten behaviors are present, yes, you have an unhealthy relationship.

1. You look to someone else for comfort
If you feel more comfortable going to someone else for emotional support, this is a sign that your relationship is not as loving as you thought. It’s important that you can go to your partner with whatever feelings you’re having and know you will find comfort.

2. You no longer see your family and friends
The newness of a relationship sometimes cuts into the time you used to spend with family and friends. This is not a phase that should last very long. As your relationship progresses you should resume seeing your family and having nights out with friends. A good relationship is not one where only your partner matters and you are isolated from those who are important to you.

3. You are blamed for your partner’s lack of success
Healthy relationships are all about support. You can encourage your partner to follow a dream, but you can’t achieve a dream for someone else. Your partner has to do the work. It’s not healthy for you to feel that you’re responsible for your partner’s success or lack-thereof. If your partner blames you for their lack of success, it’s only to make themselves feel better and this is very unhealthy.

4. You walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting your partner
When you’re afraid of upsetting your partner so much that you are careful of your every word and action, this is not a healthy relationship. You should never be afraid of your partner’s reaction to anything you do. Your spouse may not always like what you do, but their reaction should never make you anxious. If you find yourself nervous before your spouse comes home and dread your time with them, this is unhealthy.

5. You call each other names
People don’t easily forget being called names, and it hurts! If there is name-calling on a regular basis, this is a sign of major trouble in your relationship and needs to be stopped immediately. Couples must lift each other up, not bring each other down.

6. You enable each other to live an unhealthy lifestyle